10 Pounds

I got on the scale this morning because I do that from time to time. The scale said that I’d lost 10 pounds. I did a double take. I little spark of joy popped up from somewhere in my middle.

I mean, I’ve been trying to watch what I eat and get more exercise. But recently I’d been holding steady except for a pound here and there. I swear just last week, I weighed 10 pounds more. My stomach was a little touchy yesterday, so maybe it made a difference. And I haven’t been keeping as well hydrated! So maybe I only lost some water weight.

That’s when I noticed my pants on the floor next to the scale. Only not just next-to but also partly under one corner of the scale. The scale was a tiny bit crooked and cushioned by my pants. I’d accidentally overlapped a bit when I slid the scale out to use it.

I moved my pants. I gained nine pounds back. So I lost a total of one pound. Yay? Dave heard me complain from the bathroom and said, “towel rack, Dad.” Recalling an episode of the Simpsons where Homer is weighing himself and part of his belly was propped on the towel rack giving him a false reading on his bathroom scale. 

Towel rack. Pants. Sigh. 

One pound. Um. Woohoo!